For people in the divorce process, fearing the unknown is very common. What may be helpful is to understand that your fears are not unique.
Here are some of the most common fears that clients have in most divorce cases:
Fear of the Unknown
- What will life look like afterwards?
- How long will the divorce take?
- What will it look like for our kids?
- Will the kids be resilient or will they have scars after the divorce?
- There is a fear for both sides of not being able to see the kids every day anymore.
When you get a divorce, it means that life is changing and these fears are a reality of any divorce.
Financials Fears
- Can I support myself after the divorce?
- How am I going to survive?
- How are we going to manage being two economic households and not living under one roof anymore?
- Sometimes a fear is that one spouse has not been in the workforce for a while. Now after 5, 10, or 20 years, how do they go back and get a job?
- Will I need additional schooling to procure sufficient income from future employment and if so, is this financially viable given our circumstances and will the other spouse be supportive?
- What jobs are out there?
The Coronavirus pandemic has made the economy even more challenging and with so many people out of work, financial fears are even more common.
Collaborative Divorce Calms Many Fears
People fear how much a divorce itself will cost. In a Collaborative Divorce, as a couple, you are working together. You sign a contract stating, “We are not going to hide things from each other. We are not going to play games when it comes to getting financial documents to one another. We are going to make the effort to seek a beneficial outcome for all.” Financial aspects are more out in the open in a Collaborative Divorce. A financial neutral on the team can help deal with the financial decisions offline. That way you do not have to pay two attorneys’ hourly rates to deal with simple financial questions. You each talk with the financial neutral, who gathers information to create one cohesive financial plan.
The team approach in a Collaborative Divorce includes a mental health professional who understands human behavior, human fears, and knows how to help people voice their concerns. When it comes to children, a skilled mental health professional can sit down with mom, dad, and the kids and come up with a creative plan that works for everyone. Most importantly, you are not forced to have a stranger in a robe (the Judge), who sees you on one occasion, then decide what is best for your family.
The Collaborative Divorce process allows people the safe space to bring their fears out into the open. The Collaborative Divorce team will address all your fears and talk about them as a team. We are looking out for the best interests of the whole family: both spouses and children.
