Second only to the death of a spouse, divorce is the most stressful and emotionally painful of the many life experience experiences you may encounter. Divorce brings on a number of emotional losses: of companionship, security, love, as well as the long intended plan of growing old together. If your spouse initiated the divorce, chances are that they experienced many strong emotions and began their emotional road to recovery from these losses months (or perhaps even years) ago. For you, the emotions are just now becoming increasingly more intense, and you may find yourself so overwhelmed that thinking rationally is either extremely difficult or perhaps even impossible at this point. You may even feel yourself spinning out of control. It’s important at this point, to realize that you won’t feel like this forever. To move down the path towards emotional healing and recovery there are specific actions you can take to begin your own recovery. The time you spend on all or some of these is up to you. Just remember, the sooner you begin, the sooner you will start to feel better. Some helps:
1. Getting back to being yourself again:
Write down activities you used to enjoy doing either alone, with friends, family or your children. Research what’s available in your area whether it be classes at the local library, adult education programs through the community college, local art museum, a Bible study and/or men’s/women’s social group in your area or local church, sign up and make it a gift to yourself to start attending. Find an activity that interests you on a “meet up” website and invite someone to go with you.
2. Reconnect:
Make a list of friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, church friends, you would enjoy spending more time with. Rent a movie on Redbox or pick an upcoming movie or sports event broadcast and invite some friends and/or neighbors over (trust me – what your house looks like doesn’t matter – they’re only going to remember the fun you all had together). (Suggested reading: The Benefits of Staying Connected (or Re-Connecting) With Old Friends & Family Members, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-benefits-of-staying-c_b_9275560
