To be in control of the outcome of your divorce you need to be a major participant.
You cannot sit on the sidelines just watching as a spectator. You need to be in communication with your attorney. You need to be prepared for meetings and ask for homework afterward.
Divorce is an educational process.
A lot of work needs to be done in a divorce, especially when it comes to the finances. Many times, one spouse has always managed the finances and one spouse has had little interaction with the finances. When it comes to a divorce, the uninformed spouse oftentimes finds themselves in a position of having played a passive and detrimental role during their marriage, but this doesn’t have to be a permanent detriment.
There also needs to be an understanding of which assets will be of greater benefit to you based on your age and other circumstances.
Have you been in the job market? Have you been working and advancing your career? Have you been a stay-at-home parent? Getting financial advice and assistance from an expert who can review which assets will be of a greater benefit to you in the years ahead is extremely important.
When it comes to your children, during the divorce process you need to have an active role in their lives and for their well-being.
Recognize if your children are struggling with the divorce emotionally, in their relationships, in school, etc. and then find them a therapist or other assistance to ease this process for them as well. Both parents need to take an active role in recognizing these issues and taking action. This is one place where the children greatly benefit from seeing their parents as a united front.
There’s a big difference in how much control you have on your divorce process in a traditional litigation case versus a Collaborative Divorce case.
In a Collaborative Divorce case, everybody on the team is looking for a win-win scenario. You have control over discussions and creating options that fit your circumstances much better than a judge who does not know you or your family and has a very short window of time to review and hear about your case.
In court you don’t have a lot of control over what’s going to be decided for you and your family. If you want to give up that control, then litigation is most likely the right path. However, if you want to be more in control of your divorce and what your life and the lives of your children are going to look like post-divorce, then the Collaborative Divorce process is absolutely the right path.