It has been said that a pre-nuptial agreement is not about planning for divorce but is pre-marriage counseling.
It is about having important conversations that as a couple you have not had yet. A prenup discussion creates an opportunity to sit down and talk about money issues, about children, and to understand what both parties bring into the relationship.
Money, Sex and In-Laws
Money, Sex, and the In-laws are the three most common reasons people get a divorce. If you have those conversations before you get married, you can avoid many problems down the road because you have a better understanding of each other: your values, your financial health and goals, the way you approach personal relationships, etc.
Many times, people think they need a divorce when what they really need is a financial counselor. Talking about money before you get married means that you can plan your financial life together. They say opposites attract. In a marriage there could be one person who is a saver, and the other is a spender. The saver may think that spending $20 is like spending $2000. Those things can be understood with a prenuptial conversation before problems arise. After understanding each other and becoming more like-minded on finances, you will than have more time to enjoy one another because those stressors have been removed.
Pre-Nups and Older Couples
When older couples marry, it is not like the younger generation who have never been married before. In some cases, one of the party’s spouses may have passed away or in other cases these people have been through an unpleasant and/or difficulty marriage and/or divorce. The pre-nuptial agreement is an opportunity to discuss what happens to their financial estate as they enter a new marriage. There may be an adult child of one of the parties who feel like it is their right to interject opinions and desires on their parent’s finances.
One of the advantages of the Collaborative process is that the Prenuptial Agreement can be addressed individually and personally and, in a calmer, safer environment. The agreement goes a long way toward establishing your intent not if there is a divorce but if one of the parties dies. The Pre-Nuptial Agreement means that you have both agreed on how your estate(s) will be handled.
In an era of litigation, a Collaborative Prenuptial agreement is a good way to avoid litigation and hurt feelings over what is Yours, Mine and Ours. The Pre-nuptial agreement is something that every couple should consider creating before getting married.